35 ways to annoy random Mr characters!
by not magical me
Summary: Title explains all.
1. MAX

35 ways to annoy random MR characters!

**MAX**

1. Flick her in the head and tell her she was having a brain attack.

2. Look at her stomach and ask her when she's going to tell Fang.

3. Look at her at random times and sing off-key Max and Fang sittin' in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G and all the rest.

4. Make her read a mari fic and tell her Angel wrote it.

5. Tell her erasers are coming two days before an erasor attack. Scowl at her during said erasor attack and say, "I told you they were coming, but did you listen? Noooooo."

6. Dye her hair pink and green.

7. Scream in her ear in the middle of the night.

8. Speak to her in Pig Latin.

9. Tell her to hurry up and pick Fang so all the Figgy writers will figure out that those two a straight.

10. Tell her that you know what she did.

11. Get Fang to kiss Lissa when she can see

12. Tell her she'd look better if she would go to that hair salon thingy that the flock minus Angel saw in that one place when they were rescuing Angel. Tell her this in one breath.

13. Tell her Jeb is out to get her.

14. Say Angel is missing again when Angel is out of sight.

15. Poke her and tell her Iggy did it.

16. Glare at her and fang randomly and tell them to get together already! That us poor readers will explode, then implode, then kill them both if they don't in the next five seconds.

17. If they don't, explode, implode, and hurt them. Do not kill them because then they would never get together.

18. Tell her that Sam is really Anne in disguise a ninety nine times.

19. When she says you've told her a hundred times, look hurt and say you only told her ninety nine times

20. Look at her randomly and tell her she's talking to her voice out loud again.

21. Sing the song that never ends. Make the other MR characters including Ari and Jeb and them do it too.

22. Look at her and scream.

23. When she asks you what's wrong tell her you thought you saw an overgrown Pekingese doggy looking at you. Make sure to say doggy, not dog.

24. Whap her on the arm.

25. Tie her up and sing a 1200 million bottles of beer on the wall all the way down to one. Make sure you are alone when you do this, so nobody kills you. You can put up a disco ball too.

26. Lock her in an asylum where kookoo for coco puff people go.

27. Tell her she's kookoo for coco puffs.

28. Lock her in a room and sing the song that never ends to her. Tell her you'll let her out when you figure out how to finish the stupid song.

29. Stare creepily at her and say she should go to London.

30. When she asks why, tell her because you want her to meet Alex Rider.

31. Tell her to go to Venice to find her destiny.

32. Tell her that she's a schizoid because she hears voices.

33. Ask her excitedly if she'd take you to Europe

34. Tell her randomly hips don't lie.

35. Look straight at her and tell total that you thought you saw 'it' move.

_**WARNING!!!**_

_**after you do any of these things, i highly recommend running for your forking life unless you have a death wish.**_

Tell me who you want me to do next! And remember, folks, Iggy and Fang are _STRAIGHT! _


	2. FANG

35 ways to annoy random MR characters!

**AN; thanks guys! Nobody hated it! And I kinda wanted to annoy him next, he's so darn unemotional! On with the guide/ story/ whatever you wanna call it…**

**FANG**

Poke him. Poke him again. And again. And again. And… you get the idea.

Tell him he wears too much black.

Scowl at him creepily for an hour.

Tell him Max hates him.

Make him read a Figgy story.

Tell him Total wrote it.

Look at him with big eyes and ask him where babies come from.

Glare at him and tell him that if he doesn't hurry up, James Patterson will make her fall for Iggy.

Get him to kiss Lissa when Max can-wrong person, sorry. Get Max to kiss Iggy.

Sing the song that never ends in your 'sleep.' BONUS! This will annoy everyone else as well.

Tell him that James Patterson controls his thoughts.

Tell him JP is with Itex.

Ask 'are we there yet?' until he yells at you. Then burst into tears and tell Iggy loudly enough for everyone to hear, 'Make your boyfriend be nice!!!!' BONUS! This will also annoy Iggy. And Max.

Tell him Alex Rider is cooler than him.

When he asks who Alex Rider is, tell him he's Ari's imaginary friend. BONUS! This will also annoy Alexis- oops! Alex, and Ari.

Tell him exactly one hundred and three times he's kookoo for coco puffs.

Ask him to take Nudge shopping

Give off annoying vibes. It never fails.

If giving off annoying vibes fails (gasp! Not a snowball's chance in Florida!) Tell him he's an Instigator and run away.

Make him listen to Instigator, by Vanessa Hudgens.

Look at him and scream like a four year old boy.(In a really high voice)

Get Total to drool on him.

Throw all his clothes down the fire escape when the flock stops in a hotel.

Tell him to move a boulder from one place to another, because Max thought it would look prettier over in the other place.

When he's done start 'crying'. When he asks about it, tell him he dropped it on Max.

When he freaks out, start laughing at him. Then tell Max in a loud whisper that she can come out and laugh at him now.

Tell him you know where he lives.

Tell him you personally knew his mother and that she lives in Ireland.

Tell him he needs help, because he's suicidal in Max's hearing.

When he denies it, remind him of the 'time you caught him in the bathroom taking a buncha pills.' When he denies THAT, remind him beach incident. When he protests that he had no control over that, pat his arm and say, "if it makes you happy, Fnick."

Refer to him as Fnick

Tell him he's weird because he's annoying because he's weird because he has mental problems. (no offense to anybody who is or has relatives like that)Make sure you use that exact phrasing.

Tell him that he's gay.

Tie him up and put him in a box, then send him to Eagle Pass Texas.

Tell him how many reviews I got asking me to make this chapter.

_**WARNING!!!**_

_**after you do any of these things, i highly recommend running for your forking life unless you have a death wish.**_


	3. IGGY

35 ways to annoy random MR characters!

**AN; thanks guys! Nobody hated it! Thank heaven you guys wanted iggy next, he's going to be lots of fun. NO OFFENSEE TO BLIND PEOPLE! PLEASE DON'T TAKE IT LIKE THAT! On with the guide/ story/ whatever you wanna call it…**

**IGGY**

Tell him to look at you when you're talking.

Tell him how pretty the world is.

Tell him the school is after them fifty times.

Tell him he's losing his hearing.

Ask him what's wrong with his eyes.

Sing the song that never ends.

Tell him you're invisible.

When he says you're not invisible, tell him to prove it.

Yell in his ear.

Tie him to a chair.

Make Total read a figgy fic, and admit to writing it.

Tell him that his girlfriend is mad at him for leaving her behind.

Tell him that he would see dead people if he could see.

Scream in the middle of the night.

Get Nudge to talk nonstop to him for a week.

Sing one hundred bottles of pop on the wall all the way down to -100 bottles of pop on the wall.

Say you're learning about integers in math class and needed to practice.

Tell him blablabla for an hour and then ask if he's listening to you.

Ask him if he's gay.

If he says yes to get rid of you, smack him and tell him "now you're not, I smacked you back into a straight bird kid."

Tell him James Patterson controls his thoughts.

Tell him he's more annoying than you.

Ask him if he'll make a bomb for you.

Tell him that his leader is really a Pekingese eraser in disguise.

Yell at him for no reason, then blame him when Max asks what's wrong.

burn his clothes.

When he asks for them, say you wanted to see if they would explode.

Tell him they didn't explode, because Max found all his bombs and confiscated them.

Say, "HAHA! NOW YOU HAVE TO START FROM SCRATCH!''

Take all the bombs out from in your pockets and wave them in front of his face.

Enjoy the fact that he doesn't know what you're doing.

Get Nudge to read him a niggy fic, and then have her confess her undying love for him.

Start crying, and say how beautiful the wedding will be.

Ask if you can be thee flower girl.

Tell him how many reviews I got asking me to do this chapter. (a lot. All of the reviews I got asking for a specific mutant except one.)

_**WARNING!!!**_

_**After you do any of these things, I highly recommend running for your forking life unless you have a death wish.**_


	4. NUDGE

35 ways to annoy random MR characters!

**AN; thanks guys! Nobody hated it! On with the guide/ story/ whatever you wanna call it…**

**NUDGE**

Pretend to listen to her talking, and then say, "I'm sorry, did you say something?"

Tell her that she could talk to a brick wall and bore it to tears.

Say that even Angel can't keep up with her thoughts.

Make her read a fudge fic.

Tell her Fang wrote it.

Tell her she needs a muzzle.

Tape her mouth shut on your watch.

Give her a handlebar moustache.

And bushy eyebrows.

When she wakes up, pretend that you have no idea who did the heinous deed.

Repeatedly ask where the bathroom is.

When she says there is no bathroom, tell her that oranges are going to take over the world.

Be quiet whenever the older kids come, and then tell her she's a girly girl.

Repeat.

And just in case she didn't get the message, say it again.

And again.

You know what? Just keep saying it until she starts trying to kill you. Then stop.

Look at her for an hour without blinking.

Climb a tree. Shout that she likes Iggy.

Run. Really fast.

Whenever you see a squirrel, squeal and shout, "SQUIRRELS!"

Look at her in horror and tell her that she's eating that squirrel you saw.

Burst into tears and tell her that she's a terror to squirrels everywhere.

Sniff pitifully and tell her you're telling Max if she doesn't spit the squirrel out.

Proceed to 'fall asleep' on her food.

Snore like a little piggy, for effect, you understand.

Crack an eye open.

Shut your eye really fast and snore again.

Pretend to wake up.

Yell at her for waking you up.

Tell her she can't cook.

Say that you seem to "remember" her blowing up the stove the last time she tried.

Tell her that compared to her food, Max's makes gourmet meals.

Tell her she should ask Max for a muzzle.

Grin at her insanely and creepily.

_**WARNING!!!**_

_**After you do any of these things, I highly recommend running for your forking life unless you have a death wish.**_


	5. GAZZY

35 ways to annoy random MR characters!

**AN; thanks guys! Nobody hated it! On with the guide/ story/ whatever you wanna call it…**

**GAZZY**

Have a farting contest with him.

Win.

Glare at him.

Whisper loudly to Nudge,(if she's still speaking to you. After everything you did to her, I wouldn't be surprised if she wasn't.) "He smells funny."

Tell him he's a suck-up.

Tell him he should be more of a man.

Say "awwwwww! I'm telling!" every time he says something. Trust me, this will work. I've tried it out numerous times and it never fails to get you a death threat.

Tell him that he should try out for synchronized swimming.

Tell him that Angel wants some of that chocolate bar he's eating and that you'd be happy to give it to her for him.

'Cry' loudly when he says no.

Tell him Angel's my next victim.

Tell him how many reviews I got asking me to do this to him for the entertainment of others.

Sing Popstar by Jamesatwar on youtube to him twenty million times.

Learn Latin, and 'practice' it by loudly insulting him.

Tell him he's an exist-say iglet-pay.

Tell him you know he supports Figgy in front of Fang and Iggy.

Tell him you're disgusted and he's a disgrace.

Storm off to talk to a tree, glaring at him stormily every three seconds.

The next day, keep shaking your head at him.

When he explodes, look hurt and tell him he didn't have to yell.

Storm off.

Tell him he's mentally challenged.

Ask him to spell challenged.

Laugh at him when he can't.

When he gets angry, shrug and talk to a tree.

When he yells at you, tell your tree friend loudly that a fly keeps buzzing by your ear.

Swat at him in case he doesn't get the message.

Tell him loudly he looks like one of those Disney princesses.

Assure him that he's Cinderella in disguise.

Ask for his autograph.

Ask him if he REALLY knows his sister.

When he asks you what you mean, look a him pityingly.

Tell him he would know if he knew what you meant.

Tell him it's not your place to tell him.

When he storms off, laugh manically.

_**WARNING!!!**_

_**After you do any of these things, I highly recommend running for your forking life unless you have a death wish.**_


	6. ANGEL

35 ways to annoy random MR characters!

**ANGEL**

1. Sing the ABC's in your head, and when you get to the part where the song asks people to sing along, pause and think, Wait a second, you do know your ABC's, don't you Angel?

2. Think dirty thoughts, then think, Hey, I bet this is what Max and Fang think about.

3. Scream in your head until she has a headache.

4. Tell her that she isn't old enough to look like she can drive, so she can't be leader.

5. Tell her that she'd probably end up like Saddam Huissen (sp?) anyway.

6. Take away Celeste.

7. Tell her not to drop Total to his death.

8. Sing the llamma song.

9. Tell her to "Just keep, flapping, just keep flapping, just keep flapping, flapping, flapping, what do we do, we..."

10. When she asks what the rest of the song is, ignore her and keep sining it, up until ''we..."

11. Tell her later that the rest of the song was a secret that they could use to totally DESTROY Itex, but you forgot the rest of words to the song.

12. Wonder about stupid things, like how to speel cat, or what the outside of a pencil is made of. I'm talking really, really, stupid here, people.

13. Think in circles.

14. Think in circles ABOUT circles.

15. Ask her if she can help us find Nemo.

16. Tell her the FBI are getting involved, and that it's hugely, vitally important that they find Nemo.

17. If she asks why it's so important, tell her that he's the only one who knows where my birthday present is.

19. Ask her again if she'll help, until she agrees.

20. If she finds him, ask her why on earth she thinks YOU'S want him, he's just a stupid fish.

21. Make cracks about her being a fallen angel.

22. Ask where her halo is until she cracks.

23. Act offended when she gets upset.

24. Tell everyone loudly that she can't appreciate good comedy.

25. Ask her questions nonstop.

26. When she doesn't know the answer, say, "and that's another reason why you can't be the leader!"

27. Tell her it was dumb to want to be the leader, it's cooler to be a weird little six year old.

28. Tell her that Gazzy has been kidnapped repeatedly.

29. Make sure that she is within sight of him.

30. Tell her she's going crazy, Gazzy was kidnapped, he's not over there.

31. Tell her stupid blonde jokes.

32. Say "are we there yet?" over and over in your head.

33. Sing that girl scout song that never-seems-to-end, "Make New Friends"; it will annoy anyone.

34. Tell her that she was messing up that kids Mac, not Max.

35. Pretend to be ashamed of her for not telling the ''truth''.

_**WARNING!!!**_

_**After you do any of these things, I highly recommend running for your forking life unless you have a death wish.**_


	7. ARI

35 ways to annoy random MR characters!

**ARI**

1. Tell him he's a schizo.

2. Tell him he's got multiple personalities.

3. If he has no clue what you're talking about, laugh.

4. Say his good counterpart would have known what you were talking about because he was a good little boy who went to school.

5. Tell him if he hadn't been eraserfied he'd STILL be a whiney, annoying little kid.

6. Use really big words around him.

7. Tell him that if he hadn't been eraserfied, he would have gone to school and known what the words meant.

8. Tell him that Mari fics do, in fact, exist. (shudder)

9. Tell him Jeb wrote the first one.

10. Make him read a Mari fic.

11. Tell him it's the original one that Jeb wrote.

12. Tell him that Max is his sister.

13. Tell him that he is one perverted kid.

14. Tell him he needs to stop spying on Max.

15. Tell him it's really none of his business if the girl goes on a date.

16. Call him a suck up every time his dad walks in the room.

17. Sing 'Calling All You Angels' by Train. (Train is awesome, by the way)

18. Tell him that MAX drives better than him.

19. Remind him how he got his butt kicked into the dirt, and who did it.

20. Tell him that Max will always win the fight.

21. Tell him it's because he's been a bad little boy.

22. Tell him that his entire life is being controlled by some writer dude who passed his fortieth year a loooong time ago.

23. Ask what time it is over and over again.

24. Make many random truck-backing-up noises.

25. Tell him Snow White could probably win a fight with him.

26. Ask him if he'll go ''all erasery" so you can pet him.

27. Tell him you miss your doggy.

28. Call him a pretty puppy every time he morphs.

29. Look at him and say that he actually looks more like a pretty pony to you.

30. Scream loudly in his ear.

31. Say innocently that you thought he was asleep, and that you were doing him a favor by waking him up.

32. Brownie points if you do this in an important meeting.

33. Stare at him for long periods of time.

34. Give him raw turkey on Thanksgiving.

35. Dye his hair pink.

_**WARNING!!!**_

_**After you do any of these things, I highly recommend running for your forking life unless you have a death wish.**_


	8. ANNE

35 ways to annoy random MR characters!

**ANNE**

1. Tell her you know who she has a crush on.

2. Tell her you'll tell her-him.

3. Say of course you meant to say him.

4. Wink at her.

5. Tell her that her secret is safe with you.

6. Tell her that you know what she did.

7. Tell her you'll call the cops on her.

8. Ask her why she did it.

9. Scream at important meetings.

10. Tell her that white coats are SO out of style.

11. Tell her she should get a red and green one.

12. Tell her that you'll help her sew on the little flying reindeer if she does.

13. Ask her if she's Christian.

14. If she says yes, say "Ducks."

15. Then look at her funny and say, is she completely SURE she's Christian?

16. Say that you thought she worshipped the guy who runs around in the hot place under Manhattan.

17. Tell her that Max sent you a letter.

18. Tell her that she said that she was very disappointed in her.

19. Ask her whether or not flamingos can fly.

20. If she doesn't know, say that yes they can, you thought everyone knew that...

21. Add that they look kinda dweeby doing it, though.

22. Then say, they look dweeby to start with anyways.

23. Tell her, staring meaningfully at her lab coat, that flamingos aren't the only dorky looking things.

24. Start crying randomly. (Important Note: If you can't cry on cue, onions help.)

25. Sing One Hundred Million Thousand Bottle of Beer on the Wall every time she takes you for a car ride.

26. If she takes you for a car ride, stick your head out the window and stick your tongue out at passing cars.

27. Graffiti the lab walls.

28. Spray paint her car.

29. Spray paint all the cars, just for good measure.

30. Put mistletoe on a ten foot pole and follow her around with it over her head.

31. Tell her that you and her are going to see someone "special".

32. Tell her that you'll always be there.

33. If she starts to cry, tell her that there's a lot to be said for bottlling things up, you know.

34. Dye her hair red.

35. Call her Lissa all the time.

**_No offense meant to Manhattaners!_**

**_WARNING!!!_**

_**After you do any of these things, I highly recommend running for your forking life unless you have a death wish.**_


	9. TOTAL

**Total**

Call him a mutt.

Tell him that dogs shouldn't eat at the table.

Tell him that mutant dog food is a stupid fear.

Tell him that Angel is really an alien in disguise.

Tell him to heel.

Tell him that it's time to get him "fixed".

Tell him it's time to go to the vet.

Tell him that he needs a bath.

Give him a bath.

Yell in his sensitive doggie ears.

Talk at him nonstop.

Tell him that you know something he doesn't about Angel.

Say this until he cracks.

If he asks what you know, tell him it's a secret.

Tell him he's a bad dog.

Coo at him in baby talk.

If you are physically unable to speak baby talk, or just aren't familiar with the language, tell him that you would if you could but you can't.

Pick him up and carry him around.

Put him down so suddenly that he can't get his feet under him in time.

Laugh at him.

Spin him around and around and around until he gets so dizzy he can't see straight.

Laugh at him.

Make an English-Dog Dictionary.

Make it contain fifteen words.

Make five words mean "Feed me.", or "Give me food." or something like that.

Make five of the other words mean "Pet me."

Make three words mean "I thought it would be fun to make meaningless noise."

Make one of the two remaining words mean "Bark."

Make the last word mean "Oh, look, a cat, I think I'll go chase it up a tree and try to scare it, probably getting my nose scratched to shreds in the process."

Tell him that you've been studying the behaviors of the average dog.

Tell him that based upon your studies, you've made a "Dog Dictionary".

Show him the "Dog Dictionary".

Run away before he can bite you.

Bark at him.

Tell him you thought it'd be cool to learn dog.

**WARNING!!!!**

**UNLESS YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH, I HIGHLY SUGGEST THAT YOU RUN FOR YOUR FORKING LIFE SHOULD YOU TRY ANY OF THESE THINGS!!!**


	10. JEB

**Jeb**

1. Talk at him nonstop.

2. Tell him that you know something he doesn't about the Flock.

3. Say this until he cracks.

4. If he asks what you know, tell him it's a secret.

5. Tell him he's a bad man and the cops will come to arrest him soon.

6. Tell him you're FBI and you "know all about your little operation, buddy."

7. Do the sign that means "I'm watching you."

8. Talk to him in Dutch and look at him expectantly.

9. Ask him if he worships the Devil.

10. If he says no, look amazed and shake your head.

11. Say you never would have known.

12. Ask him where babies come from.

13. If he tries to take the easy way out and says test tubes, tell him that he doesn't know very much about it, does he?

14. Ask him if he could make you a sparkly-rainbow-talking-blue eyed-cute- bunny wabit for your birthday.

15. NOTE; this works especially well if you are a thirty year old man.

16. Look at his stomach.

17. Ask him if he has a potbelly.

18. If he says no, say "oooohhhh."

19. Ask him when the baby's due.

20. Tell him he's a meanie-pants.

21. Tell him he's grounded.

22. Tell him you hope he learns his lesson without tv and junk food for a week!

23. Add that he could probably use it.

24. Cackle manically.

25. Ask him if he made the raven that goes "Nevermore."

26. Call him Mr. Edgar Allan Poe.

27. Ask him if he was around for Creation.

28. Ask him just how old he IS anyway?

29. Tell him he should be in a rest home.

30. Ask him if he needs a walker.

31. Find a wheelchair for him.

32. If he doesn't want it, look at him funny.

33. Say "your loss." get in the wheelchair, and run him over.

34. Ask him if he wants the wheelchair now.

35. Laugh at him all the time. I mean 24/7 people. When he opens his mouth, laugh.

**WARNING!!!!**

**UNLESS YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH, I HIGHLY SUGGEST THAT YOU RUN FOR YOUR FORKING LIFE SHOULD YOU TRY ANY OF THESE THINGS!!!**


	11. The End

**Not Magical Me is not responsible for:**

**Death**

**Bullet Wounds**

**Bazooka Wounds**

**Wounds From A Cannon**

**Wounds In General**

**Poisoning**

**Mugging**

**Pain Of Any Sort That Is Inflicted Because You Read This**

**If you so choose to find a madscientist/bird kid/talking dog and try these out on them.**


	12. A POSSIBILITY

Ok, guys.

I meant it, this story is done and over with.

However, if I get twenty reviews asking for a sequel, well, not really a sequel, more of a continuation, I guess, I will post the following chapters if you want.

Lissa

Sam

Mr. Pruitt (principle in MR two)

Random erasers

and more, if I get suggestions.

But remember, twenty reviews, or no more.

This will be the end.


End file.
